So I was watching Dr. Phil today while getting some house work done and Reese was napping and I was astonished at the topic. They had both working and stay at home moms in the audience and they were arguing which was better - REALLY??? Aren't we past this yet???!!!
I guess at this point I should tell you my point of view on the topic - neither is better. Yes, I truly believe that. Staying at home is best for ME and MY family, that doesn't make it best for anyone else. An easy comparison in my mind is my child/family vs. my brothers child/family. I stay home - my sister in law works. My son is healthy, smart and very happy and my niece is healthy, smart and very happy. I challenge anyone to say that one of them is better off than the other.
I believe that a happy mom (really, happy parents) contributes HUGELY to a child's success and if working makes a mom happy - great - she'll be a better mom at home for it. If staying at home make her happy - again, same thing.
Obviously there are people who disagree with me, or there wouldn't be a huge debate about it on Dr. Phil today, but what I want to know is why we (women, society) feel the need to argue it out?
So what do you think - why are women so angry/hateful/ready to debate over whether stay at home moms or working moms raise better kids?
I have my own theory, but I'm curious to hear yours - so please share!!
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I think the argument continues because of competitive nature. I agree that it is what works for your family. Luckily, I get to do both. Working mom Sept- May and stay at home mom June - Aug. Personally, I go crazy staying home all the time, so it is healthy for me to leave and go to work. It also helps that my parents watch my children. I might have different feelings if my children went to a daycare. Also, I think some working moms feeling guilty about going to work everyday, so they feel they need to defend themselves.
ReplyDeleteFor me being a stay at home mom would be an ideal situation, if it were possible. It's not, so I do my best to be good at my job and try to take pride in my work and the fact that I can juggle working and being a mom. I wouldn't say that I feel "guilty" for working, because there is no reason to. And even if I had an option to stay home and chose to work, that wouldn't make me a bad mom. At first I thought that only SAHM's are able to be there for all the little things, go to PTA meetings, plan playdates, and show there kids what true sacrifice is, but then I realized that I can do that too. I think the biggest reason for debate (the kind like Dr. Phil was showing) is that there is a deep desire of mothers to want to know they are as good, if not better, than other mothers. We want to know that we are the best mother we can be. I think that as mothers, we should support other mothers, regardless of their professional status. SAHMs are no better than working moms, and visa versa. We are moms, isn't that what is important?
ReplyDeleteWell said ladies - love the comments.
ReplyDeleteI thinnk it is important to distinguish how soon after birth you return to work as a mother. I must say that I am tremendously opposed to the entire system (in US) when most women have only 6-8 weeks of maternity leave. I am extremely opposed to putting your 2month old baby into daycare for 6-8 hours a day. I know many moms do it and I know many moms will be upset at this comment... But I dont understand why would anyone have a baby and then at such a precious age put it into daycare. Yes, six months, a year that is a different story but 8 weeks? I do know that many moms dont have a choise and hence I believe it is the company or even the state that should consider the health and well being of the baby and provide for conditions where the woman can stay at home longer and not be afraid for her job or money. (this is the European side of me talking but also a mother). A woman with such a young baby should be able to focus completely on the preciuos joy without any stress added by work. At a certain age (even 1 year) the child does need interaction with other kids and the mother as well. Hence jobs and daycare centers can be an excellent thing... but 8 weeks after birth there is nothing more important than family time.
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